#ThirtyThankfuls Day 30: My kids.

I can’t tell you how much I love being a dad. My girls are a delight and blessing to me each and every day. Seeing one of those girls light up when they see me and run at me to give me a hug is just the best part of my mornings. Working from home is a challenge with three kids 5 and under in the house, but I wouldn’t go back to a cubicle for anything.

My hope and my plan is that I will stay a remote worker through the end of my career so I can be an active part of my kids’ daily life, education, and formative years.

Having more kids than adults in the house is a bit of managed chaos at all times, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Honestly, I’m still open to having more at some point in the future. My wife is on board, though some days she’s more open to the idea than others, depending on how stinky the girls are being.

Kids are a blessing. They force you to confront your selfishness and your need for control. They also help you understand the love and compassion God has for us.

As some rowdy Presbyterians would say: if you’re single, get married, and if you’re married, have some babies. And if you have babies, baptize them—as soon as they make a credible profession of faith.

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That’s the end of #ThirtyThankfuls for 2022. Can I post for another 31 days (mostly) in a row? I’m sure gonna try.

In the meantime, I have a question for you, reader: what’s your favorite Christmas Carol/hymn? Let me know in the comments!

#30ThankYous “Day 28”: E.

My sweet baby girl,

Right now, you are in the other room with Mama, and it sounds like she’s pretending to eat you up, making loud gulping noises as she tickles you. Then, a few moments of silence, broken by your sweet voice. “Ayyooo!” It sounds like “Hiya!” and your mama responds.

There’s no way I can tell you how much joy you bring to your mother and I, every single day of your life. Even on the days when your incoming teeth are hurting and everything feels irreparably tragic, days when you shriek in anger because the cabinet door won’t open or you throw your book down because you can’t quite turn the pages, you are still a joy to my heart and bring a smile to my face.

You have transformed us, little girl. You have given us a newer, deeper understanding of God’s deep affection for His children, and you help us appreciate His mercy all the more. And as I clean up the living room after you have distributed every single toy and book you own across every square foot of it–because for goodness sake, you’re just one toddler but you make messes like an army!–I dare not complain, because it is a privilege to be your dada, no matter the messes you make. I am happy to take care of you, sweet girl.

(Now, your mama is making monster noises, and you’re giggling. Your laughter is my absolute favorite sound. There’s no music, no poem, no sound made by man that hits me quite the way your giggle does. I treasure it.)

Baby girl, I want you to know that I will do my best, with all my heart, to reflect the love of the Father to you, and in the times I fail, I pray you will show me grace. My greatest goal for your life is not riches or success or family or fame, but that you would know and love Jesus. This is my prayer for you, now and always.

You may never read this letter, but my hope is that you will feel every word of it, as I live this out before you every day.

(You’re about to head up with Mama to bed. It’s time for me to give you kisses and say goodnight. This is also an honor, and a blessing, and a joy.)

Thank you for coming into our lives, my dear. We are so thankful to be your parents.

–Dada (signing also on behalf of Mama)

DadaAndEllie

#30ThankYous Day “22”: Dad.

Dad,

This past Thursday was the 7th or 8th Thanksgiving in a row for us to get up early and join a crowd of thousands at a Turkey Trot. This has become one of my favorite yearly traditions, and a reminder of one of my favorite memories of you.

Almost 9 years ago, I did something incredibly foolhardy: I attempted a half-marathon, despite being extremely overweight and having inconsistently trained over the previous several months. I started out okay, walking with the wind at my back on that tide-packed sandy beach, but when I had to turn into the wind around Mile 3, it got harder. By the last turnaround at Mile 8 or so, I was in agony. My feet were blistering, my hips were tight, and my back ached. I slowly trudged onward, knowing the only way out was through. Around Mile 10, I looked up to see you walking toward me. Truth be told, I wondered if I was imagining it, like a mirage.

When you arrived and turned to walk beside me back toward the finish line, my first words to you were an exhausted, almost accusatory, “What are you doing here?” You said you wanted to be with me the rest of the way in. You told me how proud you were of me for doing this. I couldn’t really process it in the moment, with several sore body parts screaming at me for my betrayal, but in the months and years afterward, that has become a treasured memory.

And in the process, I think you realized you could do something like this too. After all, that morning, you just about walked a 10K yourself. It wasn’t long after that when you started running on your own, and have kept at it whenever you had time, ever since. I’m glad I had a small part in helping you find an outlet for exercise and stress relief that you enjoy, something that will keep you healthy and around longer with us.

So I wanted to take a moment today and thank you for that morning on Surfside Beach, years ago, when you decided that being present to encourage your foolish and stubborn son was worth an hour or two of walking. It sums up a lot of who you are: a man who is willing to go the extra mile (or six, if needed) to encourage and strengthen your loved ones. You think nothing of sacrifice or sweat or loss of sleep, when it means making life better or easier for your family. It’s just what you do when you’re Dave Mitchell. And whether it’s hours spent helping with car repairs or lack of sleep due to working a second job for years on end, you’ve done what it takes to serve and love your wife and kids.

That’s the example I want to follow and the legacy I want to leave for my children.

Thank you, dad.

–David

#The4thDaveReads: Summer Round-up!

Hey y’all! I apologize for the radio silence over the last week or so. Between looking for freelance opportunities and helping take my baby sister back to college for the fall, I’ve been a bit overbooked! Suffice it to say, I’m happy to be back behind the keyboard.

Today, I’m back with some reviews of books I finished reading over the last 4-5 weeks. You ready? Let’s do this thing!

The Keto Reset Diet, by Mark Sisson — I’ve had more than a few conversations over the last 3 months about the weight-loss progress I’ve made. At first, I would simply say that I was following a ketogenic diet, but this resulted in more than a few blank stares. Sometimes, the person would respond, “So, like the Caveman Diet? Eating nothing but meat? Isn’t that unhealthy?” This would result in a much longer conversation than I’m sure my friend was really ready for, in which I would clarify what ketogenic eating means (low-carb, high-fat, moderate-protein) and how it has been beneficial to me, even beyond the scale. At the end, I usually trail off when I start feeling like one of those obnoxious fitness-cult people, droning on too long about an obscure dietary approach.

More recently, my response to keto questions has involved my bringing up Mark Sisson’s excellent book. I usually recommend The Keto Reset Diet for 3 reasons: 1) Sisson begins by laying out the scientific ideas behind this style of eating; 2) the book describes a 3-week carb-reduction process that is really “pre-keto” so that people avoid diving into the deep end too quickly and burning out; 3) there are dozens of helpful starter recipes for those who want to start eating this way. If you’re interested in checking out the keto eating style, Sisson’s book may be a great introduction for you.

The Pilgrim’s Progress, by John Bunyan — Bunyan’s allegory of the Christian life, written from the confinement of an English prison cell, is one of the top-selling English-language books of all time, and for good reason. This narrative of a sinner’s journey from the City of Destruction to the Celestial City is part adventure story, part catechism, part Scriptural exegesis, and part soul-care textbook. Generations of Christians have found Bunyan’s tale encouraging and challenging.

What many modern readers miss is that the story is actually written in two parts: the popular first part that follows Christian’s journey to glory, and the less-well-known second part, in which Christian’s wife (aptly named Christiana) and their four children follow in his footsteps and make the trek to Zion, facing a few familiar faces and dangers, as well as some new ones.

I’ve written about this second part of the story elsewhere, but suffice it to say, I really love this book. Nevertheless, I can understand how hard it may be to get through sometimes; there are sections that are plainly didactic, as the narrative grinds to a halt to allow the characters engage in theological discourse. However, I would encourage readers to push through, because (unlike another much-beloved Christian children’s allegory) the theology is sound all the way through and rewards thoughtful consideration. In some cases, it may not be a bad idea to pick up a modern-language update, if it’s your first time through the story. On the other hand, if you can understand the King James Bible, you shouldn’t have any trouble with Bunyan’s original text.

Pops, by Michael Chabon — There are certain writers that I’ve read and enjoyed in the past but can’t really connect with in the present. I think Michael Chabon has become one of those writers. I remember enjoying Wonder Boys and adoring Kavalier and Clay, despite moments where the author’s worldview clearly conflicts with my own. There’s no question that Chabon is a talented novelist, so I hoped I would enjoy his non-fiction work just as much.

Pops is a collection of personal essays that Chabon wrote for various publications over the last few years. Given that the volume’s underlying subject matter is fatherhood, I assumed I would enjoy this peek into Chabon’s thoughts about being both a son and a father. In the end, I really just stopped caring about either.

Throughout each piece, it felt like Chabon wasn’t so much writing about his experience of fatherhood, as signalling to the reader that he was being the right kind of father, raising the right kind of children. His attempts at self-deprecation felt forced, as if he knew he was supposed to play the “slightly-out-of-touch-but-still-hip dad” role but couldn’t quite sell it. The whole exercise just felt forced. Maybe I’m not in the right frame of mind or time of life to appreciate it, but I don’t care enough to revisit it later. Although it’s a short collection (barely over 100 pages), I had to push to finish reading it and was relieved to hit that back cover.

Side Hustle, by Chris Gillebeau — As I’m sure I’ve written before, self-help/productivity/motivational books are only as good as what you actually do with that information. Or, as Gillebeau says at the end of every episode of his Side-Hustle School podcast (highly recommended, for the puns if nothing else!), “Inspiration is good, but inspiration combined with action is so much better!”

This is extremely true with his fantastic book, Side Hustle. If you have an idea for a new business, or want to try to create some extra income during your free time, this book is a must-read. I’ve realized over the last week that some of the roadblocks and frustration I’ve been experiencing with my attempts to build freelance work is because I haven’t been applying what I read in the book!

In Side-Hustle, Gillebeau takes you through a 5-week plan for brainstorming, planning, and executing a side-hustle business. There are step-by-step instructions about process, questions to consider, and mistakes to avoid. Along the way, he demonstrates these steps with story after story of hustlers who found success by making smart choices and working hard. It’s an inspiring read, even if (like me) you’ve never considered creating a business for yourself. I definitely recommend this book, especially if you’ve got the itch to build something of your own.

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As you can see, my reading this summer has been quite varied. As for the next few months of #The4thDaveReads, I’m working on a few interesting titles:

The Exemplary Husband, by Stuart Scott
Everybody Writes, by Ann Handley
The Thing Is, by Tony Payne
The ESV Reader’s Bible: Prophets

I’m looking forward to discussing all of these with you in September!

Have a great Wednesday, and I’ll see you on Friday with another #FridayFive!

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Your Turn: What’s your favorite read from this summer (or any summers past)? Let me know in the comments below!

#FridayFive: 07/20/2018

You know the deal–let’s do it:

Teens are Flocking to Youtube to…Study?: If you’re a computer-based office worker like me, one of the most important elements of your workday is background music to drown out the sound of your coworkers loudly calling out to each other. Especially your boss, who has no sense of–oh, that’s just me? Sorry. So yeah, background music is essential. I sometimes listen to podcasts, but when I need to focus just a bit more on the less-data-entry-like aspects of my work, it’s distracting. That’s why this article turned me on to what is becoming a lifesaver in my particularly slammed workdays: lo-fi streams on Youtube.

The Trophy: An Essay on Fatherhood: As the daddy of an…almost-one-year-old [*choking back tears*], essays about fatherhood hit me hard. Goins’ posts are always a good read, including this one.

5 Weak Words that Make Your Writing Less Effective: Another Goins post, this time on the weak/filler words that creep into our writing and water it down.

Why You Don’t Need to Read Those Productivity Guides: Although the author drifts dangerously close to “not having an act is your act” territory, he makes some good points here about “enough,” a word that is almost anathema in productivity discussions.

A Choose-Your-Path Twitter Fairy Tale: This is SO GOOD that I furious with myself for not thinking of it. Every so often, there’s a moment–one shining moment–where we all stop and realize, “hey, social media is actually a pretty cool invention that can bring people together in an interesting way.” I think this is one of those moments.

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Your Turn: Any cool stories or blog posts you want to recommend? Throw ’em in the com-box below!

The irony isn’t lost on me.

My last post, over a month ago, was talking about waiting. Since then, gentle readers, you have patiently waited for more content (or, more likely, forgot about the blog and moved on to other things).

I’m not “back” yet. But I’m coming back to this…sometime. Still trying to figure out what the new normal looks like. Nevertheless, I’ve got some stories, lemme tell ya.

Here’s the bare bones version: We had a baby! And she’s great. And I miss what a “full night’s sleep” feels like. And there was a hurricane, but we’re okay. And now it’s mid-September, and the year has flown by, and there are pumpkin-flavored things being sold, and I can’t quite keep up with life. So. Blogging was bumped down below the cut-off line for “things claiming time and attention” (sorry).

Back soon-ish.

#300aDay: The waiting is the hardest part.

That’s another thing about taking on a 30-day writing challenge: usually, there’s not room built in for grace, if you miss a day here or there. The most important thing is that you don’t break the all-important “chain,” and if you do, you’re a failure. But you know what? If while seeking to engage in a new habit or challenge you are successful 25 out of 30 times, that’s not a failure. What a crazy thought. It’s 25 more days of writing or practicing music or exercise or whatever else than you would have done otherwise. Madness.

So yeah, the idea of taking on a 30-day writing challenge is fraught with perils. I’m still unsure if doing so would be wise at the moment. More consideration is needed.

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My wife is more than 41 weeks pregnant. For you kids keeping score at home, that’s over a week “past due.” What that means practically is that we are in a kind of holding pattern. In the last 2 weeks of work, I’ve been trying to clear my inbox and close most of the “open loops” on my projects and responsibilities. At home, my wife has done the usual nesting-type preparations, and the nursery is ready to go. Super cute–white, grey, and pale-yellow with little baby stuffed animals.

We thought our little girl would come a bit early, so we were getting ready around the beginning of last week. Then the due date approached and we thought, okay, she’s “due” around Thursday. Then the due date passed and we thought, okay, fine, it must be during the weekend. Now at “Due Date Plus Eight” (the worst reality show ever), we’re tapping fingers and watching the clock. Neither the kiddo nor my wife’s body are giving indications that this party’s ready to start. Meanwhile, the clock is ticking, and we’re creeping toward the point when intervention is required.

This past week (really, the past month, but especially the past week), we have been struggling with anxiety about the birth process, the health of mother and baby, and what comes next. And as the days drag on, that anxiety threatens to grow. I have taken to repeating the following phrase, as a comfort to my wife and reminder to myself: “God’s will, God’s way, God’s time. Because He is good.”

When the waiting is the hardest part, the best thing we can do is trust the One who sees the end from the beginning, and hang on for the ride.