Placing the Big Rocks.

20190311_084109My wife made this picture for me when we were dating. (One of her many gorgeous papercraft creations.) It’s based on the analogy of the rocks, gravel, and jar. In short: a teacher challenged his students to put several sizes of rocks, along with sand and water, in a jar, but they could only do it by putting the big rocks in first. The lesson is this: if we don’t prioritize the things that matter most, they will get crowded out by the lesser things that take up all the space.

Early on in our relationship, H. knew that one of my greatest challenges in our marriage would be trying to manage the big rocks, so she made me this as a reminder.

Lately, I’ve been focused on three big rocks in particular.

My Household: Thing have been going well at home. My wife and I will be married 5 years this summer, and married life is a blessing. We’re looking forward to a family beach vacation in a few months and making plans for the near future. The kiddo is now a year and a half old, and just brilliant; her mind is a sponge, and she’s got a goofy and playful personality.

But the biggest news on the family front is this:

20190222_103729

Baby girl #2 is set to arrive this summer, and we couldn’t be more excited. We have been duly warned that going from 1 to 2 kids is a game-changer, but nevertheless we’re eager to meet this little sweetheart.

My Church: Being an elder at my church is already rewarding and stressful. There are new and more challenging questions I’m asked to consider, more conversations to be had, more responsibilities to shoulder–but I love it, y’all. The biggest challenge for me currently is working through the vast amount of material and training for child safety and abuse prevention materials. As I’ve noted before, this is becoming a big ministry focus for me lately, as I work to make sure all of our policies and procedures are consistent and up-to-date. I’ve been filling up a legal pad with ideas and questions, and what I really need is a day or so to sit and synthesize all the information I’m learning. (Anybody got a spare day laying around that they could loan me? Because I’m time-poor at the moment.) Unfortunately, this isn’t an issue that can or should be put on the back-burner. The time to address these issues is now, and I want to make sure I’m moving forward with the intentionality the issue deserves.

My In-Person Relationships: One of the ideas kicking around in my head as a result of reading Cal Newport’s latest book (review forthcoming) is that in-person communication and relationship-building is more powerful and more meaningful that digital, mediated communication. What this means is that being in the same physical space as the people you care about and want to connect with is worth the time and effort to do so. Sometimes that looks like driving across town through the evening rush to visit a family member in the hospital, or meeting a long-time friend for breakfast whom you haven’t seen in a few months. Maintaining these connections takes effort and grates against the easy-everywhere connection of likes and comments. But I’m finding that it’s worth it.

That said, there are a few big rocks that I’ve neglected lately, like exercise and writing and prayer, that I need to work back into my life. The fun distractions like social media and movies are sand and water in my jar. They work fine as fillers, but if I don’t get ALL these big rocks in place first, they’re just not going to fit.

I’m chewing on some ideas about how to do this better. I’ll share those when I come to conclusions worth reading.

So there’s the update. Hopefully, you’ll see me back here sooner than 2 weeks from now, which appears to be my average time between posts lately. I bet we can do better than that, though, right? Let’s try.

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Your Turn: What are the “big rocks” in your life right now–the most important things you actively make time to pursue? Feel free to share below. See you next time!

2 thoughts on “Placing the Big Rocks.

  1. A few thoughts. I’ll list them:

    1. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you all. Two ain’t bad. It’s continuing to prioritize marriage time and cherishing wife that is hardest. I hope you have a helpful church. Maybe someone will give you a night out once in awhile.

    2. Avoid child abuse scandals etc by going to family integrated as much as possible. I know; that could be a big shift, but it’s worth consideration.

    3. You shall be a wise elder because you are humble. Keep that trait even when you’ve become wise and you’ll be the Mr Miyoggi to someone’s Daniel-san one day. Maybe even to a suitor or two for a daughter or two?

    4. For me, prayer, reading, eating healthy, exercise, and spending all seem to go well together or suffer together. It’s like a five link chain bracelet or some metaphor I can’t think of now. The point is vigilance in all five of these areas is easier for me than four or less. Maybe same for you. Pray for us.

    5. I am glad you are sharing things once in a while still. I enjoy reading.

    6. I traveled to spain and am preaching the gospel in Spanish! Pray for me and for the 400 tracts I printed in Spanish to all be used of God. Wife is good. Kids are healthy (physically) and need prayer spiritually. I have reasonable doubts about salvation testimonies as my two oldest are more and more worldly. Middle seems OK for now and the two little guys are still not understanding sin and the gospel yet.

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