Wanna try something fun? Go back and find old journals or diaries you wrote when you were younger. Flip through those and think about how big those problems loomed in your life. It’s a hoot. As for me, I didn’t keep paper journals to record my innermost thoughts–no sir. I published them online for the world to see.
Five years ago, I was writing about how I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get married and how I fretted that I couldn’t really make plans for life that allowed for the appearance of a Mrs. 4thDave. My friend Will rightly assured me that such things would work themselves out. I didn’t believe him then, but he was right. New relationship, new life, new plans.
I turned 35 on Wednesday, but for some reason I decided to be mopey for a good bit of this week. After some gentle but pointed questions and comments from my patient and gracious wife, I was able to work through the cause of my malaise. Part of the problem was that I was focusing on what I didn’t have rather than what I did.
So yesterday, as I shared early-evening burgers and wedge-cut fries with my lovely H., I decided to take stock of where I was on that auspicious day:
- I’m married to an amazing woman, and we have a super-sweet dog.
- I feel like I’m actually gaining some traction professionally, and things seem to be going well at work.
- We are getting connected to a really wonderful church family in our new community.
- I’m actually excited about writing fiction again.
- We live in a (rented) house that is roomy and charming.
- All our financial needs are met.
- I’m in reasonably good health.
(I feel like I should have added a spiritual bullet point acknowledging my relationship with God through Jesus, but I think that was the understood foundation of all of this.)
All this to say: I’m doing really well, friends. Real-talk. I’m incredibly thankful for the rich blessings of God. The light and momentary setbacks and frustrations are even now being outmatched and outshined by the kindnesses I experience on a daily basis.
Please understand: No bragging, humble or otherwise, is intended. I recognize all of these blessings are gifts–the lavish kindnesses of a Heavenly Father who gives good things to His children.
I just wanted to say, for anyone who’s wondering: I’m doing well. Thanks.
6 thoughts on “Thirty-five.”
Ha, I thought this whole site was fiction.
To actually comment on your post’s into how about this:
I have the ability to go back and read the journals and prayers I wrote in a notebook which started a few days after my separation and eventual divorce from my first wife. This notebook has about 9 months of my thoughts, musings, prayers and venting before I came to faith in Christ. Then I continued it for a while, as a new Christian, wrestling with big sins, the divorce process, etc. It’s interesting to read!
But the most exciting fact of the whole thing is the STARK difference from the beginning to the very first instance after salvation. I like to tell people I didn’t understand salvation when I got saved. I didn’t get saved with an understanding of Christ as Lord, or any real idea of what repentance is. I thought I was just getting fire insurance…because that was how I had been taught. All I knew is Jesus died in my place. Long story short, regardless of my own theological understanding, you can see in my writing and my prayers an amazing difference – as if it was actually a new creature writing in the same notebook. Praise be to God, Amen?
Amen! It’s encouraging to look back and trace the path of our growth in faith.
That should say INTRO, not INTO in the first line of my comment.
I needed to read this. Your wife is very wise. Lately I’ve been restless about my deficiencies, not enough thought to where I’ve come from. Happy 35! That went by fast, from 30? Dang it, that’s going to happen to me, huh?
I remember the blog post you speak of. 🙂
So, I owe you some fiction reading/crits; go for it, when you got it.